Waffle Bowl Se7en!: Obvious Deadly Sin Metaphor Edition

It's been a year and it's time for a waffle cook-off of biblical proportions

Waffle Bowl Se7en!: Obvious Deadly Sin Metaphor Edition

The Details:

What: Waffle Bowl Se7en
Rules, pictures, other context, etc in the sidebar on the right.

When: Sunday February 1, 3:00 PM

Where: Gordie and Becky's House

            

Who: Kind of up to you but at least I will be here to judge you as well as some combination of last year's winners Adam Kirsch and Erica Kirsch (?) (Paschke?) (Zeus?) (How cool would it be if she got married and changed her last name to Zeus?).

Why: Well that's a longer explanation; read on as we begin that answer where we should with...

Gluttony: You may call it Super Bowl Sunday; I call it the one day a year that I eat more waffles than you ate for the whole of last year.

Sloth: Ah sloth, leaning in to it is the answer to many of life's problems.  I could make those waffles for myself, but why not get you to do it for me.  All I have to do is take advantage of your...

Pride: Waffle Bowl isn't some aimless waffle jamboree.  It's a waffle making competition.  Are you really gonna let Mike Linden be better at cooking something than you?  Mike Linden?  The pride of being adjudged to be better than Mike not enough for you?  How about...

Envy: Have you been coming for years and always fall just short of winning?  Are you terribly jealous that you never just get to come and judge other people's waffles instead of having to make them yourself like Nancy? Have you not actually read far enough in any of these previous emails to see the part where I tell you that you don't actually have to make waffles to come?  Then envy is the motivator that you need to make me waffles.  If you win, you get to judge everybody else next year.

Greed: Look, there are people starving in the world, but they're not invited.  Come get all of the excess you deserve before I am forced to give the remainder (and any non-perishable items you bring or small amount of dollars you put in a hat) to the Finnegans Reverse Food Truck.

Wrath: I wasn't joking before about the reverse food truck.  I fear the wrath of God or Vulcan or really any deity that notices how profligate this event is year after year.  As such, I'm gonna try and at least do a little good with it.  Please attempt to bring non-perishable food items or a small (I'm seriously talking like $2-small) donation for the Finnegans Reverse Food Truck.

And finally...

Lust: Look, I know better than most just how sexy men and women alike find a svelt, well-groomed vegetarian like myself.  So imagine how the rest of society feels about vegans.  Adam and Erica are those uncomfortably attractive vegans that you lust after.  They are also our guest judges this year.  It is my understanding that while they are willing to eat a more traditional waffle batter recipe that is vegetarian but not vegan, they will not consume actual meat products.  So keep that in mind while fine-tuning your recipes.  As always, I'll suck it up and eat the meat that at least one of you will insist on piling several feet high on top of a waffle.  Consider more vegetarian-friendly recipes if you can.  And like last year, we'll have some vegan substitute ingredients here if you want to try to make a vegan version of your carefully crafted creation. 

Okay, since this belabored list of sins involved in the day probably didn't include much actual information, the usual text is below.  It should answer a majority of your questions.  Well except maybe "What's in the box?!?!?"

As always, your waffles will be judged by a panel of waffle experts. And, as always, that panel is headed by renowned Waffle Zeus Gordie Loewen. Joining him this year will be special guests, 2014 Waffle Bowl Grand Champions Adam and Erica.

No you do not need to make waffles to come. Yes you should make waffles. Why? Because they're delicious that's why.

While the main event is really the waffles (sorry football, it's hard to compete with waffles.) We understand that some people (like Gordie) want to watch the Super Bowl. That's why we have this thing, to watch the Super Bowl. That and to trick 60 of our closest friends in to feeding us waffles while we do it.

Super Bowl kickoff is 5:30 but festivities really kickoff around 3 p.m. when waffle preparation begins. We'll be cooking and eating all day, so come when you can. If you have somewhere else to be and still want to enter a waffle or just know that your batter needs to proof for exactly 38 minutes, we can find an exact time for you to prepare your waffles, just let us know ahead of time. Otherwise, we'll have several waffle-making stations set up and we'll take turns like the grown-ups that we are.

PLANNING NOTE: We will provide the BASICS for waffles so you don't have to lug them around the city. Basics include: flour, sugar, eggs, vanilla, milk (plain), waffle irons, mixing bowls, and other miscellany. Also note that the Super Bowl is on a Sunday so remember to buy beer the day before. We'll have some for folks, but quite possibly not enough.

Peep the side bar to peep the rules and some galleries of previous years.